FiMunro

love, light and mermaid tails


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Lung Scan

Tomorrow evening at 6.40pm I am having a CT scan of my lungs.


I’m not a huge fan of scans and I had planned to not have any more however I am desperate to get on a plane and go to Thailand with hubby one day. So, this scan is to see if my lungs are clear and I am safe to fly. Fingers crossed! I am hoping and wishing for some positive news!!

Usually it’s me sending love and light but (just this once) I’m asking you to send love, light and healing to me.

I’ll keep you all posted on the results!

Fi xxx


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RAOK – Paying it Forward 

I delivered another Random Act of Kindness today. It is honestly still my favourite thing to do! This one was extra special though as it came from someone else…

Despite the fact that I am meant to be resting I needed to go and order new glasses as I broke mine teaching kids yoga. Yes I know, if I’d been resting they wouldn’t have got broken…blah blah…

Anyway…I used to work in my local opticians so I let them know I’d be popping by. One of the women that works there reads my Facebook (**waves**) and so she dropped me a message to tell me to say hi when I was in.

This I did and I’m so glad! She is without doubt one of the loveliest souls I’ve ever met. No I’m not just saying that because she will read this! She welcomed me with a warm and enthusiastic hug like no other and then surprised me by giving me a ‘random act of kindess’ envelope with money inside and asked me to ‘pass it on’.

I was so touched! I love when other people join in!

Leaving the shop I was still smiling when I went to buy some ‘jeggings’ – I hate that word but basically I need jeans with legging tops now I have a colostomy bag…anyway I’m going off topic (again!)

So I was trying them on and while doing so I could hear two friends chatting through the curtain of the cubicle next to me.

Their utter joy and laughter was infectious! From their ensthusiastic batter I gathered that one was helping the other buy a selection of clothes for various up coming events. What struck me was their passion. The one trying on the clothes was so unashamedly grateful for her friend’s help. Lsughing loudly she kept thanking her and declaring that she had ‘never looked so good’ and ‘couldn’t wait to show people’. The whole dialogue screamed LOVE!

I was really touched and knew straight away that I’d have to give them the envelope I’d just been passed moments before.

As I left I slipped the envelope into one of their hands and was met with the usual look of confusion and a mumbled ‘thankyou’ which, when combined, always translates  as ‘who the f*ck is this crazy woman handing me an envelope’.

As ever, it gave me so much joy and I hope the ladies got as much out of it as I did. I just love being able to pass on acts of kindness in this way.

So, tell your friends you love them;  be unashamedly you; and scatter kindness around wherever you go!

Oh and always remember you are beautiful!

Love and light, Fi xxx


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Kindness Needn’t Cost a Thing

So there I was sitting in my favourite cafe enjoying a quick lunch whilst editing my book. Across from me was a woman and her two little boys. One was sat opposite her whilst the other, ‘shiny new’ [I have since discovered he is 3 weeks old] was sleeping soundly in his car seat. Their soft, loving ‘chatter’ was the perfect ‘background noise’ for my writing.

Suddenly ‘I need a poo’ broke the calm as the little boy voiced his urgent concern. I recoognised the look in the woman’s face. ‘How am I going to get all of this stuff, including your little brother to the toilet with you in time?’ came her silent tormoil. However, calmly she began to lift all her belongings, including the ‘shiny new’ baby brother.

‘Would you like me to watch your baby?’ I asked, wholeheartedly sympathising with this gentle soul.

Her relief was clearly evident.

‘Would you mind?’ She asked.

‘Not at all!’ I exclaimed. I’d had similar struggles trying to get all my luggage to a toilet in time(!) I couldn’t begin to image what it would be like with another tiny human in tow.

She introduced her beautiful, thankfully sleeping, baby to me as Andrew and slipped off to the loo with her other little boy.

Now, never in all my days have I so desperately willed a baby to stay asleep! Watching a stranger’s baby for two minutes is one thing but having to comfort said baby would have been beyond my means!

Thankfully ‘baby Andrew’ obliged and his mum was back without a single stir from him.

We exchanged some small chat, through which I sensed what a wonderful woman she was and the struggle it can be to get a toddler and a new baby out for the day – a struggle I’ve seen so many of my friends experience. Don’t get me wrong, this woman never complained, she merely discussed her day.

I continued with my writing and she continued to eat her lunch whilst amusing her toddler with a game of ‘4×4’. Every word she spoke was gentle and kind. This softness was mirrored in her little boy whose heartfelt ‘thank you’ at his mum buy him ice cream was adorable.

Their exchanges touched me. Here was a woman who had clearly given birth only weeks before, she was likely stressed and sleep deprived yet her son captivated her attention. I am sure that the little boy had no doubt that he was his mum’s ‘whole world’. It was admirable.

When I went to the till to pay my bill I asked to pay for theirs too. I didn’t give them one of my usual random Act of Kindness envelopes. Instead I did this silently and slipped out of the cafe without a word.

There was something even more magical about doing the act anonymously. It felt entirely selfish of course – afterall I get so much joy from doing acts of kindness and I had felt honoured to have witnessed such a loving family.

Perhaps we can all learn to give the people we are spending time with our undivided attention. It costs nothing to make someone feel like they are out ‘whole world’ as this lady had done with her little boys.

Also, of course, we should realise that kindness needn’t cost a penny. Sometimes the simple act of recognising when another soul is in need of help and reaching out is all that is needed. Sometimes even just a smile is enough.

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Love, light and healing, Fi xxx 


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Love, light, kindness and the magical universe

So, many of you now know about my recent health update…my markers have risen and whilst I could have chosen to get down about the news I decided that life is for living…truely madly deeply LIVING and, with that in mind, I am far too busy having fun to waste any energy on feeling sorry for myself.

This post, however, isn’t about my health situation or even cancer for that matter…it is instead about my favourite topic…kindness!

I had another one of those wonderful moments that makes me grateful for the incredible universe I find myself  in and the wonderful way in which it works.

I’ll get to the point….

On Sunday I was meant to be at a day long yoga event. Tiredness and listening to the signals of my body, however, led me to retract my place in favour of some time at home. My hubby was taking my car to the garage to get my tyres changed and asked me to come along. I contemplated staying at home but he insisted, explaining that I would just be sitting in the car. Agreeing I went along for the journey.
However, the garage had a delay and we were faced with an hour wait. Rather than ‘wasting’ the time, we decided to go out for lunch and found ourselves in a local cafe in Perth.

Whilst sitting there waiting for our food the people at the next table caught my eye. Something about the man at the table reminded me of my, much loved (and missed)  grandad. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Perhaps the glint in his eye, the way he spoke to the children at the table, the love he showed them. I got that feeling I get when I know I need to hand out one of my kindness envelopes.

I waited until we were leaving and then, nervously approaching the table, I handed the man one of my kindness envelopes. And then I forgot all about it. It was literally as if it had never happened. That is, until the man got in touch with a beautiful message.

Hi Fi

We met (or passed) briefly in Reid’s Café Perth this lunchtime when you left something very special on our table. I hope you had as much joy with your act as the profound affect it had on us. Truly inspirational.

When I get time I will read some more of your interesting and inspirational blog. From what I have read so far you have been through the very same experience my sister had 12 years ago and she is still going strong.

I wish you the very best for the future and thank you for the gift. By gift I mean the inspiration from the thoughtful act of random kindness which is truly infectious.

Now, I am sure you will realise the significance of these words. Here I was having recently been told that my cancer markers were rising, I’d just decided to stop further treatment and, as if by magic, I was having a conversation with someone who could offer me a beautiful message of hope. The universe was once again passing on the very words I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear them. It may seem crazy but this gave me the validation that my decision was the right one.
The wonder of this recipient didn’t end there. Oh no, this person is actually quite magical…

They are handing out their own kindness envelopes and spreading my message through what they affectionately refer to as the ‘kindness virus’ – I’m glad to see I picked someone with my sense of humour!

My first thought soon after I opened your envelope was to donate the money to charity but since then I have decided I would like to follow your example and spread joy, inspiration and hope like you. I will certainly donate to cancer research again and follow your lead with “Random Acts of Kindness” envelopes. With your permission I would also like to forward the one you left for me along with your card so that others might learn from your story.

He’s even written his own message for his kindness envelopes…

You are probably wondering why you received this gift from a stranger.

The same thing happened to me recently, the only difference was that the envelope also contained a card warning about the early signs of ovarian cancer.

The card also gave links to the website and Facebook page of someone who I later found out to be a truly inspirational person who is on a mission to spread awareness, inspiration, joy and kindness through her story, activities and quest to deliver “Random Act of Kindness” envelopes to strangers.

Her name is Fiona Munro and her website is fkmunro.com and her Facebook page is facebook.com/thefkmunroblog.

As well as the happiness and joy she experiences giving gifts to strangers I am sure she would love to hear if recipients have been touched by the kindness or are encouraged to spread the message of kindness through actions and/or gifts to strangers. 

I am anonymous because I am only a ripple in the pond where Fiona has cast her kindness stones.

Isn’t this magical?!
That night I went to see Prof Brian Cox give a talk in Edinburgh. Amongst his many mind blowing explorations of the universe he delved into the subject of mortality. ‘The world will one day cease to exist’ he explained. ‘The planet we love and call home is finite.’ ‘This doesn’t make me sad. Neither does the fact that I too am finite,’ he went on. ‘Rather it is this fact that encourages me to do more so that I can change the world and leave a legacy.’

I couldn’t have put it better myself!

So, thank you my dear latest kindness recipient for being part of my kindness legacy and pledging to keep it going.

Perhaps those of you reading this will be inspired to do the same too…

Love and light, Fi xxx


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Love and Kindness – RAOK Envelope

Yesterday I handed out one of my random act of kindness envelopes. It’s been a while I know! – for those of you who aren’t familiar with these cash envelopes I hand out out to strangers you can read more here.
I was out having lunch with my hubby and two friends in a local cafe when I spotted the owner having cuddles with another customer’s dog. Now, I’m never one to miss out on the chance for any kind of animal encounter so, of course, I made my way over to join the fun.

I was met by a huge dog full of affection – a result of a clearly loving owner! As I was walking back to my table the owner of the cafe explained that the women and the dog were regulars and that the dog is provided with a tuna sandwich all of its own when they visit. Yes you read that right!

Well I was so touched by this clear act of love. As many of you know my dog was a huge support to me during my treatment and so it’s always a joy for me to see similar relationships. So, without hesitation I got out an envelop and asked the owner to pass it on to them without telling them it was from me. This was a new approach as ordinarily I pass it on myself.

The feeling was just as wonderful as always – knowing that through a simple act of passing on the kindness that had been giving to me I was brightening a stranger’s day. I LOVE it! I hope that it will have brought joy and love to this person in an, all too often, sad world. 

More importantly I hope it will have reminded them (and you reading this post) that kindness is a wonderful and powerful thing that can really change the world.

I love being able to pass on this kindness to otherrs and I’m so grateful to each and every one of you who has ever donated to my ‘kindness’ pot.

Remember, kindness doesn’t have to be the ‘gift’ of cash. It can be a smile; holding open a door; forgiving someone; listening; hugging…the list is endless. What act of kindness will you do today?

With love and light, Fi xxx 

EDIT: I received this beautiful response from the recipient…

Hello Fi. Yes I had to investigate and discover the kind person who chose me as the recipient of your gift. What a surprise it was. I’m still getting my head round what turned out to be a memorable Saturday. I was taken with your joy when meeting Mia and the look on your husband’s face when you were leaving was also notable – now I know. You have been through the wars and I am pleased to learn that you are surviving and making the most of life. I hope that I may encounter you in the future but meantime your kindness is much appreciated. Keep well 💜


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What if there was a stage five to cancer?…and it was positive…

I havn’t been blogging recently, instead I’ve been focusing on writing my book and so I’ve been saving my updates to just my Facebook page. However, whilst away in Europe just now I had an experience that I had to share with you all…Hubby and I had booked a last minute train journey from Scotland to London and then on to Paris. Instead of micro planning the trip like we would have previously, we just booked return tickets and our first two nights in Parirs. After that, we decided to leave our holiday to chance by arriving in Gare De Loyn (Paris’s international train station) and booking on to the next train….with no plans of where we would end up, no accommodation booked, a true adventure to say the least.

Anyway, I’m digressing, as usual. On our first day in Paris we stumbled upon one of those beautiful serinipidous moments that I hope you will enjoy hearing about. At the very least, I hope I do it justice in my writing because, for me, it was utterly magical.
We had spent the day wondering the city. I’d been telling hubby that Paula Cohelo (my favourite author) frequently mentions in his books that to ‘know’ a city is not to do all the tourist attractions but to ‘get lost and discover it for yourslef’. With this in mind we hadn’t joined the crazy long queues to climb the Eifle Tower, instead we had marvelled at it from the ground below before wondering through the streets, lanes and local parks. In fact we wondered so far that by the end of the day a background app on my phone recorded 5.5 miles – the furthest I’ve walked in one day since my diagnosis.

Walking through a park whilst searching for somewhere for dinner I was struck that everyone around us was busy taking ‘selfies’ and not enjoying the moment. Now, don’t get me wrong, those who know me know I’m guilty of more than a few selfies so no judgement from me, I was just struck that it was what everyone was doing. No one was actually talking to one another – so busy where they trying to capture the perfect moment that they were forgetting to actually live it. I recalled a conversation I’d had with one of the documentary makers last year. They’d explained that there had been a study done that you remember experiences differently if you look at them through your phone taking photos of videos. In short they were saying to live the moment rather than capture it to show an ‘airbrushed’ version of your life on social media.

Again I’m digressing, but it is relevant I promise…

As we were walking, surrounded by people on their phones, something caught my eye. Just past everyone else there stood a very smartly dressed man standing away from the crowd feeding the birds. As I watched I noticed a large animal near his feet. “Is that an otter?” I asked my hubby. “Where?” He declared, no doubt confused by my random question about a water mammal whilst in the middle of a busy city. However, I pointed and managed to convince him that we needed to explore further.

So, we made our way over to the man, who appeared embarrassed by our presence, giving the sense that we were intruding on a private event. What we witnessed was beautiful and I feel both blessed and humbled to have been a part of it.

The man had a large bag of bread from which he was feeding a range of birds, including two groups of newly hatched ducklings. However, he was also taking his time to carefully peel and slice pieces of carrot to hand feed a large water vole. By large I mean the size of an adult Tom cat. The interaction between them was awe inspiring. This man, in his no doubt designer suit was not just feeding these animals but he was doing so with love and care. These were his pets, his friends, his family. Each time he fed the water vole, just a rodent to many, he knelt down and whispered to it in French before it gently took the carrot from his hands. Standing close to the man, I also had the pleasure of this beautiful wild animal coming up to me.

​​
“Do you speak English?” I asked the man in French.

“A little,” he shyly replied.

“Do you come every day?”

The excitement was evident in his reply, “oh yes, every day, I live just there, ” he pointed nearby.

We continued to watch the interaction and I’m glad we did because the magic increased. The man bent down again and handed the water vole a large piece of bread. Taking it with the same care it had the carrot it wondered to the water edge where it placed the bread in the water. Confused we watched as a group of large fish came to the surface to eat the bread.

“Did it just intentionally feed the fish?” Hubby and I asked one another. ‘That can’t be.”

However, as we watched the man carefully cut another piece of carrot for the water vole which it again accepted with care and ate in front of the man. Next the man gave him another piece of bread and, amazingly, again it carried it to the water edge to feed the fish.

Isn’t that incredible?

With love, care and daily patience this man had created a bond so strong with this wild animal that they were now working together to feed other animals. In harmony their kindness was creating ripples.

Two things struck me in that moment: The first, of course was the beautiful connection that can come between the love of a human and an animal. It’s something I’ve experienced many times myself with pets and wild animals alike and it is always a privilege and a joy. The love this man was expressing was a pleasure to witness and the joy it gave him was evident – I am sure he would have many stories to share over a coffee.

The second realisation was that not one other person in the park that day had noticed this interaction. Too busy taking selfies alongside tourist attractions like thousands of people before them, they hadn’t experienced the magic and wonder in that very place that you wouldn’t find in any tourist guides. I finally understood what Paulo had meant in his books. 

I said at the start of this blog post that I hoped I could do this encounter justice and I doubt that I have. In reality I think this moment had a profound meaning on my life so deep that I wouldn’t be able to express it through the simple action of documenting words. You see it relates to a conversation I had recently with someone I care about. They had explained to me that they had stopped following my public Facebook page because it was too focused on cancer. “That’s just not you.” They’d declared.

It had left me thinking….what was me?

Yes in March my Facebook page had, admittedly, taken a huge focus on cancer in recognition of ‘Ovarian Cnacer Awareness Month’. However, it was also the month that my health had suffered most since the end of treatment with my magnesium levels dropping radidly again. Coincidence? I think not. I am a strong believing in attracting what you think about. I mean I am the girl who I for no genetic reason had convinced herself that she’d be diagnosis with ovarian cancer at the age of 30 and lo and behold look what happened…

Their simple words had touched me deeply and I realised they were right, I am not about cancer. Whilst I like to raise awareness I do not ‘suffer’ from my diagnosis. I am not a ‘victim’ and don’t even get me started on ‘fighting cancer’ – I loath that term!

“So, what am I about?” I was left wondering.

This encounter gave me my answer, It reminded me exactly what makes my heart sing.

I am about love. I am about light. I am about healing. I am about joy. I am about LIVING – truly, madly, deeply!

What if cancer has a stage five after stage four? What if Stage Five is finding out what you are about. What if Stage Five is about LIVING?

My wish for you…enjoy the moment. Get lost and discover the hidden joys in your life – trust me they are everywhere when you start to look! Above all, if you have a late stage cancer diagnosis, may you embrace stage five and start to LIVE with the same love and care as the man I met in Paris.

Love and light always, Fi xx 


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Kindness Ripples for Maggies

As I’m sure you already know, I hand out Random Act of Kindness envelopes to strangers in a bid to make the world a happier place whilst also raising awareness for Ovarian Cancer….If you don’t know this already then please check out my dedicated kindness page!

Well…just before Christmas I left an envelop on a parked car at the hospital where I get my cancer treatment. The woman who received it got in touch and let me know that she was ‘paying it forward’ as so many wonderful recipients have decided to do.

This is her message to you all.

I received one of Fi’s wonderful teal, random act of kindness envelopes on my car in December, along with the money was the card. When I looked into what it was, I was amazed to read Fi’s story and her journey. I was inspired to put this gift to good use. I made up a medical tv drama anagram quiz using the £10 gift from Fi as the prize and I am pleased to say it raised £67 for Maggies Dundee. Fi continues to inspire me and also some of my friends who are also carrying out RAOK of their own.

Love and light, Fi xxx

kindness