love, light and mermaid tails


Lung update

I’m still waiting on my CT scan results..and I’m prepared as I can be for potentially bad news with regards to cancer and my abdomen…however, its always nice to receive some good (and surprising) news about my lungs (pictured)…Boom!



The ‘Friendships’ You Discover Once You Have Cancer

When I was first diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer in January 2016 I was surrounded by support. Nearly 100 cards and parcels were delivered to our door, filling our home with love and encouragement. I felt safe and secure in a bubble of warmth created by those that I care about.

When my cancer went into remission 8 months later, however, I received just a handful of cards. There were certainly no less people in my life so why was it, I wondered, that people were more willing to show support for the pain but not for the joy?

Then, in late December 2017 (just a few months ago), my cancer came back. This time it had filled my right lung with fluid and I was back on the cancer road again…although, in honesty, with stage four cancer you are never truly off the road, just parked at the side. My time quickly became filled with more tests, scans, X-rays and my mind was overwhelmed with fear. I had always thought that a cancer diagnosis is the worst thing imaginable, however I was wrong. The worst thing is a cancer recurrence. When your cancer returns you know what the road looks like and you also know that, this time, there might not be a rest spot on your journey.

What surprised me most was the reaction from some of the people in my life. There was a definite lack of support that had been there when I first had cancer. Now, before I continue, I want to make it clear that I am not blaming anyone. I have cancer and I know that when my fellow warriors had a recurrence I had no idea how f*cking awful it feels. I know I never said the right thing or even did the right thing. I am writing this firstly in recognition and admittance of this; secondly to help others know how to support a friend or loved one with cancer/after cancer/following a recurrence; and, above all, to let my fellow warriors know that they are not alone and that I hear and see them and their fears.

I’ve written this post with the help of a dear friend with stage three ovarian cancer (what’s up girl!) who has supported me for nearly two years and who I will finally meet this month when she comes to Scotland (Whoop!) It is slightly tongue and cheek, however, everything detailed has happened to one of us or one of our fellow warriors at some point. Please read this with the same dark sense of humour that we both share and use it to help you to support someone you love who has cancer or, if you have cancer yourself, to reassure yourself that your friends are not a-holes, they just don’t know what to say.

1 The ‘Gleeful/Gossip’ Friend

“So, tell me all about your hospital appointment. How did it go? What did they say? You must be so scared. How do your family feel? It must be so sad for them. What about [insert partner’s name]? It must be just awful for the two of you and your relationship.”

You can tell this friend apart from all of your other friends because they have a slight smile on their face and they seem to emphasis every word they say with a slight undertone of glee. You know they don’t actually give a shit about what happened in the hospital and that they are having this conversation so they can feedback to others. The biggest tell-tell-sign that you have encountered this friend is the use of the word ‘must’ instead of actually asking you. They are projecting their thoughts onto you and they are never positive ones. My response is usually “why ‘must’ I/my family/Ewan feel that way?”

2 The ‘Your Situation Reminds Me of When I went Through Something Completely Unrelated’ Friend

“Oh you had a complete hysterectomy, I know exactly how you feel. When I had a c-section it was so painful I could barely pick up my baby.”

Bleh! Just F off with yourself will you! I’m sure this needs no explanation but, just in case, firstly, a c-section in no way is anywhere near the same as open abdominal surgery to remove all of your reproductive organs and, secondly, you have a f*cking baby! How about you be grateful for that in front of the friend who can’t have children.

3 The ‘My Friend Has Cancer, Pity Me’ Friend

“I’m having a really hard day because my pal has cancer…”

Now, of course, your friends are going to have really shitty days where the reality of your diagnosis hits them like a ton of metaphorical bricks and man I would like to punch anyone who didn’t give someone I love some compassion if they were upset about my situation. However(!) the ‘friend’ I am referencing here is not the same, instead they are ‘using’ your situation for pity, rather than because they are genuinely upset.

4. The ‘Let’s Pretend it’s Not Really Happening’ Friend

“You look great, what you been up to?”

You’ve just come out of hospital for a week. They know you’ve just come out of hospital. Yet, they cannot bring themselves to mention the fact. Instead they act as if nothing is wrong at all. However, you see the silent plea in their eyes and you hear the fake cheer in their voice. You know that this friend is probably hurting just as much as you and that mentioning cancer or hospital would result in them trembling in sadness. So, instead you find yourself responding with “I’m great thanks, how are you?”

What would probably be better for you both would be a good cry together.

5 The ‘I Had This One Friend Who Survived Cancer’ Friend

“I had a friend who had [insert a type of cancer completely unrelated to yours – in particular one that is much less aggressive or caught earlier than your own] and they were completely cured so you will be fine. You just have to stay positive and everything will work out just as it did for them.”

This friend is not dissimilar to the aforementioned “Let’s Pretend it’s Not Really Happening Friend”. They are clutching at anything that will make them believe that there is no possibility of loosing you. I’ve learned to thank them politely and move on because I know the are hurting inside and that trying to educate them on my diagnosis will only cause them more pain.

6 The ‘Whispering’ Friend

“So, do you think your ‘cancer’ [insert hushed tone] is the reason you’re not well again?”

I used to want to scream “are you a f*cking idiot, of course I do, I have STAGE FOUR CANCER.” But I’ve learned that this is not the most helpful response. Instead I politely say, “my symptoms are in keeping with a recurrence. Let’s see what the results show.” My fellow warrior friend recently joked to me that “cancer is the equivalent of the word Voldemort in Harry Potter: it can’t be named.” This is a sad but true fact for some friends.

7 The ‘Pity’ Friend

“I feel so sad for you [insert head tilt].”

Of course there is nothing wrong with a friend telling you they feel sad for you, but the pity head tilt makes me want to gag. I don’t think anything makes my skin crawl more than someone pitying me…perhaps I have ‘issues’ here but I don’t know many people who would like to be pitied. Worse still is the friend with fake pity – see “TheGleeful/Gossip Friend” above. My fellow cancer warrior recently joked, “do you know the worst thing about those who express fake pity when they see you? They are the ones that will be crying their eyes out at your funeral!” …hmmm…maybe I should create a guest list…

8 The ‘I’ve Had the Worst Day’ Friend

“I’ve had such a bad day, I’m so tired and stressed…and so on and so on.”

Picture this: you are in hospital, you’ve just had a dose of chemotherapy that is destroying all of your cells; you’ve vomited on yourself several times; you’ve lost all your hair; you are recovering from surgery; you have been told you might die; and so on…sometimes, just sometimes, your patience wears a little thin when people moan to you about stuff in their life that they have the power to change and/or fix.

9 The ‘Really? Again?’ Friend

“But, I thought your cancer had gone?”

No matter how many times I’ve explained that my cancer is incurable so many people were shocked when it returned. I wasn’t shocked, however, I was just p*ssed off! The worst part of this friendship is that it is like they used all of their energy dealing with your cancer the first time round. You are often left feeling like your cancer is an inconvenience to them because you have it again – after all, how dare you be so selfish as to have cancer more than once! I struggle to have time for these people.

10 The ‘Invisible’ Friend


This is the hardest friend to come to terms with because one day they are there and the next they aren’t. Maybe the just fade away; maybe they stop messaging or calling; maybe they are always busy when you are trying to catch up with them; maybe they block you on social media; maybe you have a big fight. It doesn’t matter which scenario causes you no longer be in each other’s lives, the pain is still the same. I wrote about this scenario in my book and it is one that affects most (if not all) cancer warriors. As I say in my book, I try to comfort myself with the thought that this friend loves you the most and that they just can’t cope with the situation. It’s either that or they are a total **** [please insert an appropriate profanity of your choosing].

Of course, there is a flip side to the coin. For every friend that doesn’t know what to say or how to act there is the friend who holds you in their heart as they have always done. Here are just a few examples of some of the most precious encounters I’ve had since my initial diagnosis and recurrence. (Disclaimer: I like a friend with a dark sense of humour so these are not suggestions for you to try on your friends who don’t).

The Friend Who Treats You Exactly The Same

You may have cancer but, guess what. You are still the exactly the same person as you were yesterday and that you will be tomorrow. Friends that hear my concerns but don’t let me wallow in self-pity, instead near slagging me off, are my favourite kind of people.

Some of my favourite comments over the past two years are:

  • “Can I wear nipple tassels to your funeral?”
  • “I’ll just be delighted to not have to make GF Vegan Raw shite anymore to be honest.”
  • “Stop making it all about you all the time Fi.”
  • “Man, you always have to go one up don’t you?”
  • “If you ever get really bad, do you want me to bring you some wine? If you are f*cked anyway you might as well enjoy yourself.”

And sometimes it’s not just the cheeky comments that make all the difference. Sometimes it’s the little actions that make you realise that your fiends still sees you as you. Here are just a few lovely examples:

  • Friends that ask you out for spa days when you don’t have hair and aren’t feeling girly – they still you as gorgeous and feminine.
  • Friends that bring their new shoes to show you when you are in hospital – they are bringing some normality to their visit rather than talking about cancer all the time.
  • Friends that pop in for a cuppa while you are having chemotherapy treatment – rather than making it weird and awkward, they treat it just as if you are meeting in a cafe.
  • The friend who brings their kids to see you in hospital – after all, why shouldn’t you enjoy the company of children just because you are in the care of medics.
  • The friend who brings you a takeaway – need I say more.

The Friend Who Sends You Pictures To Make You Smile

Sometimes friends don’t know what to say, and that’s ok. Christ, half the time I don’t know what I want them to say anyway. The key is to not say nothing. If you don’t say anything then you become the aforementioned “Invisible Friend”, and no one wants that. Instead, I have many friends who simply send me a picture that will make me smile or who say “I have no idea what to say” and then send me a picture. This is beautiful. It’s true what they say, a picture really is worth a thousand words.

The Friend Who Listens

Sometimes I want to talk about normal, funny, every day stuff. However, sometimes I also want to talk about the shite reality of my health situation. During these times it’s really good to have a friend who can, just for the moment, set aside their own concerns and questions and just listen to what I have to say. I know it’s painful for them and I certainly don’t want our precious encounters to be overrun by ‘cancer chat’ but it is nice to know that I have friend I can vent to when I need to. It’s also nice to have friends I can cry with too.

The Friend Who Has Cancer Too

On the darkest days and at your lowest points, there is no one who can pick you up as quickly as someone who has cancer too, in particular, someone with the same diagnosis as yours. Sometimes just having a brief conversation, laugh or b*tching session with someone who just ‘gets it’ is all the therapy you need to pull yourself back together and face the world again. I am forever grateful for the connection I have made with my fellow warriors, together we are stronger. Thank you.


I’d love to hear your thoughts and your own experiences. Please drop me a message or comment to let me know.

Love and Light, Fi xxx

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Check out my latest book “Love, Light and Mermaid Tails; One Woman’s Journey Back to Wholeness Through Stage Four Cancer”, now available to buy worldwide in paperback and on kindle.

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Is Social Media Making Us Less Social?

Recently I took the plunge of deactivating my person facebook page. I didn’t think much about it…I just knew I was using it too much and decided a break could be of benefit to my health.

Wow, was I surprised my the reactions I got.

  • “Are you ok?”
  • “How are you feeling emotionally?”
  • “What’s the matter with you?”
  • “Why don’t you want to talk to people any more?”

These are just some of the comments I received to my very personal decision and it got me thinking: when did social media start to define how social we are?; and when did our use of social media become an indication of our mental health?

In fact, if anything, it could be said that social media not only makes us less social but also negatively affects our mental health as we get sucked into the ‘comparison mentality’. There are increasing studies that show it negatively affects our stress levels, sleep patterns and anxiety (to name a few aspects).

After a week of no facebook I realised that I – the person who previously had used it like a drug – actually didn’t miss it at all. So I deleted my account completely (as much as facebook will allow anyway…those terms and conditions are ‘interesting’). Then, a week later I went on holiday with my hubby and didn’t take my phone, instead leaving it in our house.

I made the decision to be completely offline. For three weeks!


While I appreciate the prospect of not having a phone for three weeks will have made many of you gasp in horror, I want to share with you some of the wonderful lessons I learned and some tips for you to take this learning Ito your own lives – don’t worry, at no point do I suggest you bin your phone.

What I Gained When I Went Offline For Three Week’s

  1. I Fell Back in Love With My Husband – Now of course I have always loved my husband – he is an angel! However, I had forgotten what it was like to truly connect with him like when we first started dating. Primarily I had forgotten how f*cking hilarious he is and how much I enjoy his company. It is so easy when you have been in a relationship for a number of years for your life together to become habit, for each day to be the same as the one before and to not really connect. Add in a life-threatening illness like mine and it is easy for what made you fall in love in the first place to move to the bottom of the pile. Talk of work, hospital tests and mindless chat about social media can very quickly and easily take over. When I stepped back from this I realised that perhaps we were not as connected as I might have thought. For instance, I spend most evenings with Ewan, however many are spent watching a film or both of us on our phones. Now, in many ways we have always recognised this and we consciously make time every week for adventures, walks and days out together yet still, in the day-to-day, screen time can take over from face-to-face communication. What I realised when we were away together was that we were interacting with one another; we were laughing; connecting and stimulating each other’s conversation constantly. It was like setting the reset button on our relationship. After all, can you imagine a first date with someone who just sat looking at their phone?…
  2. Mental Clarity and Improved Memory – My mind become much clearer and more focused. Each day I would journal ideas for my second book and rather than my thoughts being stunted or blocked, they flowed freely. A surprising addition to this was old memories started coming back to me. A traumatic relationship in my twenties has meant that I struggle with memories in my school and university years. This was worsened by six doses of chemotherapy in 2016. However, I found that as my mental clarity improved, so did my memory and, as a result, many happy memories that had stayed just out of my mental reach for years, started to return. It’s as if my mind began to completely let go and relax and my inner knowing/guide/intuition/soul (whatever you want to call it) was no longer being silenced by the constant stream of information on social media.
  3. Time and Productivity – It was so insightful to me how much time I would normally spend on my phone looking at various apps. As soon as my phone was no longer part of my life I suddenly gained a ridiculous amount of time to do things that really matter to me (ideas for you to try are listed later in this post).
  4. A Sense of Calm – I am an inherently anxious, a-type personality who always has to be ‘doing’. However, the longer I was without my phone the more calm I began to feel. I no longer felt like I had to ‘do’ all of the time and instead found myself day dreaming, wondering and reflecting in ways I don’t remember doing since I was a child. The result was a deep sense of peace and calm. I hadn’t realised how much the constraint stream of information had influenced my anxiety levels.
  5. Better Connections – it’s ironic really that not using your phone would make you feel more connected, but it’s true. When you don’t have a phone, you spend more quality time with the people you are actually with because you aren’t constantly being distracted by conversations with other people through your phones.

How My Relationship With Technology Changed

Of course, I did miss some aspects of having a phone. For instance, I greatly missed being able to speak to the people in my life that I love dearly. However, I have noticed that as a result of this personal experience, my relationship with technology has changed – in particular my tolerance and patience.

  1. Group Chats – I am in many group chats. Some are where my family connects and shares as a group. Some are with friends who are stimulating, funny and supportive. Other are, well, not. The constant buzz of conversation that is mindless and not adding anything to my life suddenly felt suffocating and toxic. Having gained insight into how draining social media can be, and having a life-threatening illness has made me realise how important it is that all of the social interactions we have, whether face-to-face or online, need add value. Fortunately some apps allow you to mute groups.
  2. Multiple Conversations – social media allows you to be engaged in multiple conversations simultaneously, across various platforms. How can you truly connect with what a person is saying if you are having a conversation with 10 other people at the same time? The answer is, you can’t. As a result, it is very hard to have a deep and meaningful conversation with people through text on a screen. I should know, after all, I am the person who sent the message “it’s f*cking cancer” to several people simultaneous the day after I was diagnosed. What ever happened to picking up the phone? (I ask myself as much as I ask you).
  3. Society pressure – It is really hard to step away from social media because nearly everyone is on it. This creates a ‘sheep mentality’ meaning that if you decide to be the one who doesn’t follow the flock you can feel like you are missing out. Fortunately I have some amazing friends who send me the photos of their children that they would ordinarily just post on social media – this makes me feel extra special as I know they want me to specifically see them, and not just their whole friends list (I don’t doubt they think I’m a pain in the arse).

Things to Do Instead of Mindlessly Checking Social Media

Now you may be wondering, if I’m not on social media how am I meant to relax/connect/veg-out/and so on? Well, don’t worry, I’ve got your back…

1. Dance – dancing to a song that makes you happy not only stretches out your body but it also helps to lower your stress hormones and allows you to move from a state of ‘fight or flight’ to a healthier state of ‘rest and digest’. The same can be said for yoga.

2. Go For a Walk – even if it is just for a short walk around your neighbourhood, going outside and breathing in fresh air reduces feelings of depression; burns calories and improves your cardiovascular health.

3. Create – when was the last time you did something creative? Creativity is a form of meditation and mindful living and allows your mind to wonder and your brain to rest. Take some time to draw, doodle, colour or write.

4. Take Some Me Time – busy has become a badge people are proud to wear. Instead of constantly stimulating your mind, allow it to rest and relax with a bath (with you phone left in the hall!), massage, reiki, sauna, meditation or anything else that takes your fancy…

5. Phone Someone – how many of us send mindless messages to people without picking up the phone and having an actual conversation? I just had a two hour phone call with a friend in London and it was so stimulating for my soul (and hopefully hers). Take some time to have an actual conversation with someone you care about, rather than sending the ‘how you doing?’ message.

6. Speak to the Person/People You Live With – you’ve had a busy day at work and the last thing you want to do is speak to another person. It is so much ‘easier’ to mindlessly look at your phone and start scrolling. How about instead, you pause, take yourself to a quiet place (I have a friend with three children who’s ‘quiet place’ is meditating on her bathroom floor – so no excuses!) and when you feel ready, start actually speaking to the people in your home, rather than reading the text on your phone.

7. Journal – I had heard of journaling and I didn’t really ‘get it’, thinking it was for ‘other people’. However, I spent a lot of my trip journaling and it was mind opening. Simply sitting down with a notebook and a pen and taking a few moments to yourself (or longer if you have the time – which you do if you aren’t on social media) to write down your thoughts is very illuminating. You can even search online for some ‘journal questions’ to give you some things to contemplate if you are struggling. I’ve learned more about myself, my values and my thoughts since I started journaling than I ever have in the past. Now I know why the people I know who have journaled for a while are so interesting, self-aware and enlightening to be around.

8. Read a Book – In those first two weeks I didn’t have facebook (before I went completely without my phone) I read two books without making any extra time for reading. I simply always carried a book with me and whenever I had a moment where I would have previously reached for my phone, I instead reached for my book. I even bought a new handbag that fits a book in it (any excuse for a shopping trip). Stop making the excuse ‘I never have time to read’.

9. Have a Nap – who doesn’t like a 10 minute nap…enough said.

But We Live In A ‘Digital Age’…I hear you cry

Of course, since I came home there has been a need for me to use social media and technology. For instance, I run a business that relies, in part, on social media and me being contactable by phone. The difference now, however, is that I engage with social media in a mindful manner:

  • My business facebook is run by a facebook account which I don’t have any friends on and I still don’t have a personal facebook (it’s been over 2 months now).
  • I check twitter once a week – my blogs are set to automatically post there.
  • I check instagram once a month.
  • I only check my business facebook during working hours.
  • I only check emails during working hours.
  • I don’t have any social media apps on my phone…no business facebook, no twitter, no instagram, no emails. This means that I have to go on a computer to check these. This takes away the mindless habit…it is a lot more effort to go into my office just to scroll through social media.

By taking some simple steps to mindfully reduce your use of technology you will begin to notice dramatic changes in your life. Maybe you will even take a compete break as I did – if you do, I’d love to hear your reflections (once you are back online of course).

I believe it’s time for us to unplug from mindless online activity and instead plug into our souls, our hearts and our intuition.

Love and light, Fi xxx


Scottish Pink and A Bear

Today is International Women’s Day and I am celebrating all of the incredible women in the world, who inspire me daily.

I recently came across this blog, written by a girl who is just 18 years old and has been in hospital for over 4 months due to a genetic illness called familial adenomatous polyposis (F.A.P) that also took the life of her Dad just months before her own diagnosis. Without doubt she is an INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN!

Please share this blog far and wide. I know how much the comments I receive on my blog mean to me, particular in times of recovery and so I know how much it will help her too.

“your story could be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison. don’t be afraid to share it”

Love and light, Fi xx


Scattering Flowers

While away on our European adventure we attended a flower parade in Nice as part of their annual carnival. This was particularly special for me as I grew up on Guernsey (one of the Channel Islands) and have fond child hood memories of their own annual flower parade.

As it was the last day of their parade, they spent the latter part of the show stripping the floats bare of their flowers and handing them out to the crowd – some quick online research has informed me that each year they hand out over 100,000 flowers to the audience rather than them go to waste.

Sadly, while this act was kind, all I observed were people fighting over one another to ensure they left with a bunch of flowers. The result was that while some people had huge bouquets, others left with their hands empty.

As we were waiting to leave, I was handed my own bouquet by one of the staff members.

“Do you know what I’m going to do with these?” I asked Ewan

“Hand them out to strangers…” he replied.

And of course that is exactly what I did. I handed individual flowers to people I passed as we made our way through the town….not just to people who had been at the event and hadn’t received any flowers, but to people out on the street too. It was one of my most joyous experiences and I plan to repeat this act of handing out flowers again soon…I think I may purchase a few bouquets and gift them to unexpecting strangers because, why the hell not?

This experience highlighted that while it was, of course, lovely to have been one of the people who received some flowers, it paled in comparison to the feeling it gave me to hand these flowers out to others and see their shock, surprise and resulting smiles.

Make the day good. Be kind.


In case you are new to my posts –

When my loved ones raised £500 for me to treat herself following my operation for stage four ovarian cancer in May 2016 I made the decision to use the money to do random acts of kindness for complete strangers…

Since then, I have been handing out envelopes containing either £5, £10 or £20 alongside a card that provides information about ovarian cancer alongside some ‘instructions’ to either keep the money or pass it on.

I have lost count of how many envelopes I have now handed out and the pot of money continues to grow as people make donations. I also added the £600 I won in 2017 when I was awarded ‘Health Blogger of the Year’ by HealthUnlocked.

It has been an incredible part of my story and allowed my cancer diagnosis to bring joy and kindness, rather than sadness and despair.

While I was traveling around Europe recently, I didn’t have any envelopes with me but there was still, of course, always opportunities to be kind…

I encourage you to try it for yourself…wonderful things happen when you are kind xxx

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RAOK – Spread Kindness Around Like Glitter

Yesterday I gave out another of my ‘random acts of kindness’… I was shopping for food in Pillars of Hercules Organic Farm and, because there was all but no food in our house after being away for three weeks, I stopped briefly to have some quick lunch. The place was packed and so I squeezed myself into a seat at a table that adjoined another table two ladies were sitting at. I presume they were grandmother and granddaughter..

I was in my own world, journaling while I waited for my food and listening to the soft background noise of their friendly dialogue. I don’t mean I was listening to their words, but rather letting the friendly sounds wash over me.

Suddenly my state of mind was distracted when I realised that one of them was asking me a question about the cafe. She was friendly and polite and I felt blessed that she had taken the time to include me in their discussion.

They left soon after. However, when I was in the farm shop buying my food, I noticed them at the till and so slipped up to them and handed them an envelope with my usual, brief explanation…”I hand out random acts of kindness, this is for you.”

Then, just as quickly, I slipped away and near hid behind a shelving unit so they couldn’t find me…you would think by now that I was less embarrassed about approaching strangers in this way.

There was something about the connection between them that touched me; their kindness and clear love for one another shone through and it made me smile. Perhaps their interaction, on some deep level, had reminded me of the one I’d had with my own grandmother, who passed away in early 2015. Whatever it was, my instinct told me I *had* to give them an envelope and so, as ever, I listened and I did.

I hope receiving it made them as happy as it to for me to deliver


In case you are new to my posts –

When my loved ones raised £500 for me to treat herself following my operation for stage four ovarian cancer in May 2016 I made the decision to use the money to do random acts of kindness for complete strangers…

Since then, I have been handing out envelopes containing either £5, £10 or £20 alongside a card that provides information about ovarian cancer alongside some ‘instructions’ to either keep the money or pass it on.

I have lost count of how many envelopes I have now handed out and the pot of money continues to grow as people make donations. I also added the £600 I won in 2017 when I was awarded ‘Health Blogger of the Year’ by HealthUnlocked.

It has been an incredible part of my story and allowed my cancer diagnosis to bring joy and kindness, rather than sadness and despair. I encourage you to try it for yourself…wonderful things happen when you are kind xxx

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Celebrate Life and Dance in the Confetti

We are back safe and sound in our home and I am attempting to provide an update of our incredible adventure…however I don’t think words can do it justice…we had an incredible time traveling from Scotland, to London, to France, to Italy, back to France and then, finally, back to London and home again…

While traveling down to London at the start of our journey I turned to Ewan and said, “you know, every moment that happens from now on wouldn’t have happened if my cancer hadn’t returned. We wouldn’t be on this train. We wouldn’t be going to Europe. Instead, we would be traveling to Thailand.”

“We better make sure every moment is amazing them,” he replied, always knowing exactly what to say to me.

And that is exactly what we did! Every day was a new adventure that we embraced to the fullest. We walked nearly 110 miles in total as we explored our surroundings; saying a huge YES to every opportunity that came our way; eating lots of food; traveling to loads of different destinations and laughing until our bellies ached. It was perfect in every way, above all because I got to spend so much quality time with my wonderful hubby – there are not many people I could spend three weeks with!

The ultimate highlight for me was attending The Nice Carnival. It was an evening parade filled with celebration, music and lots and lots of confetti! They let off continuous confetti bombs throughout the parade. I’m sure it won’t be hard for you to picture e spending the evening dancing in the street as confetti fell from the sky all around me (photos are Ewan’s). The next day, even after a shower, washing and drying my hair, I was still finding bits of confetti would ‘appear’ every time I brushed it. It was amazing and I learned that one of my favourite things is to dance and celebrate the moment, yes, even with complete strangers in a foreign country. It was amazing! (In case you are wondering, the streets were clear the next morning thanks to an amazing teach of street cleaners).

More detailed updates to follow…including how we had such an amazing trip on a tiny budget and how to travel with a critical illness…