Firstly I am so very grateful for the amazing team who have been looking after me. The hospital is unbelievably busy with patients sleeping in chairs in the corridors due to lack of beds caused by an abundance of unplanned admissions (I’ve never seen anything like it!) and the staff are working long hours without rest while so many others are out enjoying the festivities. They are person-centred, caring and focused and I feel so supported.
That said, my stay hasn’t been without incident or error but that is perhaps for another post.
I had another chest X-ray this morning that shows that my lung is now clear of fluid. Unfortunately, the fluid they drained wasn’t sent to the lab for tests as the consultants were certain it was cancerous and, therefore, a recurrence.
HOWEVER, last night I developed a fever and sweats. This can mean two things. 1. That the fluid was caused by an infection; or 2. That the fluid was caused by a recurrence as expected but that I have developed an infection or virus whilst in hospital.
Now, unfortunately, as the fluid did not contain pus (gross I know) I am told that it is highly unlikely to have been caused by an infection and so it is most likely that this is still a recurrence but that I have now also got a virus.
HOWEVER (again), as there were no tests done on the fluid they can’t be 100% that this is the case – although they are 99.9% sure.
So what does all this mean?
Well, the plan had been to put talc into the lining of my lung to help prevent the fluid building up again. This can’t happen, however, if there is a risk of me having a virus.
So, as my X-ray shows that the fluid has gone and my lung has re-inflated itself they removed the drain (pictured).
They will now keep me in hospital to monitor me and give me some extra antibiotics to be on the safe side….my temp and heart rate are still high and my blood pressure is still very low.
The plan going forward is that they will see me again in a few weeks and I’ll have another X-ray. If the fluid is back then they will drain it again and then they would put talc in. They would also test the fluid that they drained.
If the fluid is not back then they will continue to monitor me.
In addition, at some point in the next few weeks, I will have a CT scan…this is not urgent so I am prepared to wait.
There has been a lot of back and forth discussion and I have queried everything(!) which I am pleased to say has not been discouraged by the two consultants that have been caring for me this weekend. Decisions have been made and changed and remade several times and it has been a very confusing process in which I have felt very lost at times but, I have also felt listened to and I completely trust those who are caring for me – it is always encouraging when they answer your questions honestly. I feel like my voice is being heard.
Going forward I know that it is highly likely that this is a recurrence. Whilst I took this news quit badly at first I now feel ready to take each day as it comes, reminding myself that, in the words of my medical team, I have everything going for me that I can – I teach yoga, I am young, I have overcome worse, I was running just days ago, I eat well, I’m active and I’ve never smoked.
While I cannot control what will happen, I can control how I react and I will remain filled with love, courage and hope that, whatever the outcome, all will be well.
In the meantime we can focus on the fluid not returning (which would be the most ideal situation) and my body, once again, returning to a state of balanced health. Where there is breath and love and light, there is always hope and I will let this guide me as I move forward on my journey.
Thank you all for your continued love and encouragement and for holding me, Ewan and my family in your hearts. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you all.
Love and light, Fi xxx
#cancer #ovariancancer #stagefourcancer #raiseawarness #women #womenshealth #speakup #listentoyourbody #knowyourbody #useyourvoice