gratitude, health, kindness, motivation, positivity

December Kindness – Day 3

Be There for Someone You Love

It’s day 3 of our December kindness calendar and, today I want to talk about reaching out to those you love who are struggling.

Often someone (or multiple someones) in our life can be in need of help, support and a bit of extra tlc.

But life is busy and our own day to day dramas get in the way of us being there for anyone else.

We find ourselves making excuses like ‘I don’t have time’; ‘I don’t know what to do to help’; or ’I don’t know what to say’ …and so we do nothing, we say nothing, we continue with our lives.

Meanwhile the person who is struggling doesn’t know what our absence means and it only adds to their current situation.

I’ve been on both sides of this…the person avoiding the person in need (before I knew how to be there) and the person being avoided.

Both are shit.

So today is about taking a moment to reach out to that person in your life in a way that is filled with love and kindness.

Here are some ideas that I use when I don’t know what to say or do…

➳ send a message that says ’I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. But I am here. What can I do?’ Trust me…it’s always better to say this than to say nothing.

➳ ask ‘how is your heart?’ This is different from asking ‘how are you?’ …to which the honest answer is usually ‘rubbish’ (or a swearier equivalent) …instead you are letting them know you really care about what’s going on for them.

➳ write them a card or note that says ‘I’m here when you are ready to talk’. There is no pressure for them to be ready now. You are just letting them know you are there when they need you. And trust me, they will take you up on it.

➳ Finally, it can be so easy to say ‘let me know if I can do anything’ but it can feel like an empty offer. Instead suggest something… would you like me to pick up some shopping for you? Walk your dog? Take the kids out? Sit with you? Often people in trauma don’t know what they need. Be the person who is actually there, doing something.

What else has helped you to know you are loved, seen and supported?

With love, gratitude and kindness today and always Fi xx

ovarian cancer

Happy New Year

As 2016 comes to an end so many people are saying to me “you’ll be glad to see the back of this year”…but…in reality….it’s not been too bad a year.
Yes I got diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer in January 2016 and had chemo and MASSIVE surgery but that doesn’t make it a bad year.


In fact, in many ways, it’s been the best year of my life.

Seriously!

I mean, if it wasn’t for my cancer diagnosis I would have missed so much awesome stuff!…

• I met so many amazing people

• I made new ‘cancer’ friends

• I learned how to love a little deeper

• I went on a cruise

• I did a shark dive

• I saw my first opera

• I met Nina Conti

• I got a gift from Bryan Adams

• I saw LOADS of comedy shows

• I fell more in love with my hubby

• I learned to love myself

• I stopped caring about body image

• I learned how to share my feelings

• I met INCREDIBLE medical staff

• I gained new respect for the NHS

• I won an award

• I spent more time with my family

• I learned how to relax and let go

• I learned that nothing is worth stress

• I reevaluated my priorities

• I strengthen my old friendships

• I made new friendships

• I learned kindness is the answer

• I started writing

• I realised that people are incredible

• I faced death and embraced life

• I started to really live for the moment

And so much more!!!…

You see, our life, our problems, our concerns…they all require perspective.

Gratitude, love and kindness are always an option to every situation.

You can be in the worst situation imaginable; you can be facing Death straight in the eye; but you still have a choice. You can still choose to have a good life, a happy life, a joyful life.

“You either get bitter or you get better”.

I chose to get better and it’s been AWESOME!

Thank you 2016 for the incredible lessons! I’m ready for 2017!…I hope it’s ready for me!

Happy New Year!
Love and light, Fi xxx