“I’M REALLY SORRY. YOU HAVE CANCER”.
I know I’ll never forget that moment. The moment my life changed forever. The moment ‘cancer’ entered my world.
I was sat next to my husband in a cold hospital room. The consultant was sat in front of us with his head in his hands. Just weeks earlier he’d told me that there was nothing serious to worry about and yet there we were, just moments into the New Year and I was being told that not only did I have cancer but that it has spread. My prognosis wasn’t great.
“I’ll give you a minute”, the consultant muttered as he left the room, not knowing what else to say to the young couple sat before him.
My husband was sat motionless, his face grey with shock and disbelief. I wasn’t shocked, however. I’d known deep down that something seriously wasn’t right with my body. It’s why I’d gone back and forth seeking medical answers for the past few months since my ectopic pregnancy. As a result I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to some level of relief at his words. At least I hadn’t been imagining my many symptoms, as some of the health professionals I’d seen had insinuated.
As I turned to face my husband I saw a broken man. Looking up to meet my gaze, his eyes begged me to say something to take away the pain. I knew I had a choice. I knew that moment would determine our future. I could either succumb to what we’d just been told, accepting my fate as a ‘terminally ill patient’ or I could use every ounce of positivity I had left to keep going.
Of course, I choose the latter. I wasn’t prepared to become a victim. I was only thirty after all. I wasn’t prepared to die.
Unknown to me at that moment, this decision would change my fate.
The above is an extract from Fi Munro’s forthcoming book. To stay in touch about the release date please subscribe to this site or email fkmunropress[at]gmail.com
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