What do you mean ‘my bum looks big in this’?…

Since my stage four cancer diagnosis and the subsequent radical transformation of my body – including hair loss, an 18 inch scar, a colostomy bag and dramatic weight loss – I have become an advocate for promoting body confidence across social media, in my book and in magazine and news paper articles.Imagine my surprise (read *disgust*) then, when this weekend I went bridesmaid dress shopping with my two sisters (aka bride and fellow bridesmaid), my future brother in law’s sister (aka fellow bridesmaid or ‘adopted sister’) and my six year old niece only to discover that the majority of the dresses ‘off rack’ where in teeny tiny sizes!Now, I am a size ten woman who LOVES her body. I am a yoga teacher who exercises two hours a day (walking, yoga, dance) and who is, literally, missing half of her organs due to cancer surgery and yet only three…three!!…of the dresses fitted me without needing an extension added in the back and one of the dresses wouldn’t even go over my hips!My sister, on the other hand, is a gorgeous size 16 with curves in all the right places having birthed four children that I love the very bones of and not one single dress fit her.Now, out of the two of us, I would say that she has the most realistic female body given that more women have had children than lost organs…and so I would expect ‘off rack’ clothes to fit her.What kind of body image message is this giving to women when, on what should be a happy celebration of love and marriage, they are being told by clothes that their body is ‘wrong’?! How can it be acceptable that women should be made to feel ashamed of their bodies for being the ‘wrong’ shape? Especially when, I am missing half of my organs and I still couldn’t get into these tiny dresses!! Talk about unrealistic goals!…excuse me but I didn’t think we were still living in an age where we expected women to have body parts removed to create ‘social accepted’ tiny waists.I previously wrote a blog asking ‘where are the real role models?’…now I wonder ‘where are the real clothes?’Wouldn’t it be nice if there were clothes in the shops that fit ‘real’ women? Women that had created life, women that had scars and lumps and bumps. Women with curves. Sexy, bad ass women.How is it that today, in a world where we fight for female power, strength and confidence that we can’t even get clothes to fit us?I don’t know about you, but I refuse to be defined by a dress size label or to have someone else tell me what size or shape I ‘should’ be or what ‘perfect’ looks like.It’s time for a change.It’s time for a celebration of how freeking gorgeous we are, right now in this very moment.It’s time for retailers to realise that this is not good enough and, in fact, it’s not acceptable.Embrace your inner sexy, bad ass.Join me in this rebellion against being told what ‘perfect’ is and share this with a gorgeous woman in your life.Oh and, most important of all, remember that you are gorgeous, sexy and perfect right now!Love and light, Fi xxx

Categories body image.

2 thoughts on “What do you mean ‘my bum looks big in this’?…

  1. Bravo!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great article and sings to me! If you could also get running gear and swimwear with high necks on the agenda, that would be amazing -post radical mastectomy (a lot went wrong but I am a lucky one as the cancer went with the cleavage!) many people want to be more healthy, and exercise but all the available “mainstream” and reasonable price gear has low necks? Keep up the good work -and good luck with the wedding! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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