ovarian cancer

Positivity – Day One

EDIT…below (**)

I think, as a society, we focus so much attention and energy on our pain and suffering, rather than on joy and gratitude. When I was diagnosed with stage four cancer in Jan 2016 I knew I had a choice; I could either wallow about the situation and the limited life I was expected to have or I could remain positive, grateful and full of joy, enabling me to live the best days of my life in the wake of my poor prognosis. This in’t to say that I never feel fear or anger or even grief. Rather I let myself feel these feelings when they arise. I acknowledge them, I accept them and then I move in. I never dwell in them.

During a media interview recently the reporter said to me:

“Fi, when it comes to you it isn’t a case of questioning whether the cup is half full or half empty; your cup is overflowing.”

She was 100% right, my cup is overflowing…because I consciously chose it to be that way. I choose to focus on the joy, on the love and on the blessings in my life…rather than to focus on anything else. I am a firm believer in the notion that we define our life through our thoughts, emotions and beliefs.

Many people ask me if I am putting on a ‘brave face’. I even had someone critic my book with the comment “it is impossible for someone with your prognosis to be so positive, you must be in denial”. This is not the case. I like to say that I am ‘realistically positive’. I know the every detail of my dis-ease; I know my prognosis; I understand and I accept. However, I do not let this be my focus. My life is precious, as is all of ours, and I don’t want to waste a single second worrying about what tomorrow may or may not hold. I am far too busy enjoying today.

Recently this was described to me as ‘moving with reality, rather than fighting against it’…I love this as it is exactly how I feel about my life.

With all of this in mind I have decided to share with you each day something that I am grateful for and something that I am looking forward to in my future…in a sense I will be literally sharing with you how I remain so positive.

So, today I am grateful for my wonderful fur babies, for their health, locality, comfort and love. This week we also have my sister’s dog staying with us and I am loving every second of having him in our home…I love animals.

**After writing this I went and did my daily meditation and I realised I was not 100% honest…what I am truly grateful for today, and everyday, is much deeper…I was just to scared to share it…so here goes….I am grateful for the breath I just took and the next one I will take; I am grateful for the walk I will go on today and the one I will do tomorrow; I am grateful for my health in its current state and the sate it will be tomorrow; I am grateful for waking up today and for knowing I will awake tomorrow; I am grateful for the love I hold for my husband and for the ability to love him tomorrow; I am grateful for my family and friends today, tomorrow and always; I am grateful for my home, my sanctuary and the environment in which I live and grow; I am grateful for our planet; I am grateful for the ability and honour to work today and tomorrow; I am grateful for knowing what my passions and dreams are and for having the courage and energy to pursue them; I am grateful for being free from pain today and knowing that if tomorrow brings pain I will be able to handle it; I am grateful for knowing how to listen to my body and trusting what I hear; I am grateful for the strength to believe in myself and follow my heart; I am grateful for all I have experienced up until this point in my life, and all I am yet to experienced because it has shaped who I am and who I am yet to become…because I actually love who I am!; I am grateful for life, for *my* life because I am completely in love with every second of it…

If you feel able, please share with me in the comments below, what you are grateful for today and what you are excited for tomorrow….

Namaste xxx


6 thoughts on “Positivity – Day One”

  1. Grateful for eyes to see that in letting go of the fight for life, I am actually beginning to truly live. When I let go and accept what is, I usually find that I have all that I need right here all around me, I’m then happier, more contented, trusting, more hopeful. No longer so concerned with tomorrow, or what will be, but more courageously than before, facing up to what is and dealing with what I can from where I am.
    Some days, despite my circumstances, I feel like I’m flying.
    Excited to have started a small project of guided meditations for schoolchildren as a free resource for teachers. Made the first steps towards this just yesterday. 🙂

  2. Wonderful ! Today I am grateful to God for our 5 healthy children and 11 healthy grandchildren . I look forward to giving myself the time to successfully complete a TEFL Course by August . Haven’t studied for ? – neatly 30 years! I am going to mirror you lovely girl – may be repeating ! As every day I thank God for healthy babes. Loving you and Believing for your walk! It will happen . Shoniex

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. Woke up this morning! My OVC diagnoses was 3 months behind yours.

    Fi…you have kept me as positive as I can be and just reading your words has dashed any bad moods during my recovery journey these past two years. Fighting in light, love, and faith with you.

  4. As you know Fi, we were diagnosed at almost the same date with stage four ovarian cancer, had our operations within a few days of each other and further chemo and Avastin treatment. Like you I have always been positive about my dis-ease and people have commented on it about how “brave” I am etc! I am just so grateful today and every day for my wonderful husband, three children and five grandchildren. Yesterday (before I read your blog), I went for a walk by our local wee river and just felt so glad to see there wild flowers growing by it, the green of the trees at last beginning to show, and the gentle flowing of the river in one part, which turned to “babbling” waves as it flowed over the stones. I felt, fortunately to be able to experience this wonderful nature on my doorstep……

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