ovarian cancer


During my last checkup my oncologist explained that my cancer markers have risen. Last month they tripled and this month they went up a little bit more. They are now at the top of ‘healthy’. However, this may indicate that treatment did not get rid of all disease as we originally thought.She asked if I wanted a scan to see where the cancer was. However, this gave me the opportunity to have an honest chat and tell her that I don’t want to have chemo again.

This is for a number of personal reasons but one is because the toxicity would cause further damage to my kidneys and make my magnesium issue worse.

You may think this is minor, however, my Hypomagnesemia is actually very serious and, along with the debilitating side affects I have often posted here, worsening my situation could cause irritability of the nervous system with risk of tremors, seizures, cardiac arrest, coma, intellectual disability or death [to name a few].

After an open discussion, during which I was treated as an equal part in the decisions made, my oncologist explained that she supports my decision. She agreed that further chemo would make my Hypomagnesemia worse. This would be very detrimental to my health and possibly remove all quality of life which, I’m sure you know, is very important to me.

Also, at this stage my diagnosis is medically ‘incurable’ and further chemo would not make a significant difference to my life expectancy. We are talking an extra couple of months and, for me, that’s not worth the price of my quality of life.

So we have agreed that she will no longer monitor my cancer markers and that I won’t get scanned. There is no point.

However, the main thing is that just now I feel well and healthy aside from a stabbing pain in my right ribs which has been ongoing for a few months…and, annoyingly, worse today.

My positivity hasn’t wavered, my hope isn’t diminished and above all my joy still overflows! 

I will keep on LIVING and spreading kindness and positivity for as long as my heart keeps beating.

I encourage you to do the same.

Love and light xxx

Ps. This is what stage four cancer looks like #ButYouLookSoWell 💕💜😘

11 thoughts on “HEALTH UPDATE”

  1. Fi, I have to say I’m behind you with this decision you have made. I have just lost my brother after 4 years of debilitating treatment – not once did he ever feel well. I know he’d take quality over quantity too. May you stay well for as long as possible-I’m sure I don’t just speak for myself when I say “we’re right behind you lovely lady”😘😘😘🦄🦄🦄💜💜💜

  2. I have one friend who was given the “incurable” or “terminal” label 10 years ago and she is living a life just like everyone else, and another friend who was given 2 months last year and is also living a full life. You are very lucky to have a supportive medical team who don’t project their anxiety onto you. I agree about the ‘you look so well.’ We probably pass people in the street everyday who are suffering from chronic disease but ‘look so well.’ You’re beautiful and absolutely stunning inside and out.

  3. Hi Fi,

    Your blog this morning reminded me of the thought which came to me this morning as I walked to work, “What do you plan to do with this one wonderful day, which will come only this once?” and so I took firm hold of my courage and claimed this day for my own, with the intention that no matter what the day brings, success of failure, I will have lived it. This one day is a gift indeed.

    I wanted to share that well known quote by Mary Oliver which comes at the end of her beautiful poem “The Summer Day”.

    I thank you for living your life.

    The Summer Day

    Who made the world?
    Who made the swan, and the black bear?
    Who made the grasshopper?
    This grasshopper, I mean-
    the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
    the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
    who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
    who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
    Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
    Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
    I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
    I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
    into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
    how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
    which is what I have been doing all day.
    Tell me, what else should I have done?
    Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
    Tell me, what is it you plan to do
    with your one wild and precious life?

    —Mary Oliver

  4. Dear Fi I have been following your Blog for some time . My daughter in law is a good friend of your sister Jo and she told me about it. My husband died of cancer 5 years ago and when I feel sorry for myself , which I often do, I think of you , your youth and bravery and kindness to others and I pick myself up and carry on . I am sure you have touched the lives of many others in the same way and you will have us all willing you on . Val Bunker.

  5. Hi Fi,

    I totally understand where you are coming from. You have made a decision which is yours to make. And how wonderful that the Oncologist understands and respects your decision.

    Your posts always move me Fi, and your smile lifts me. As I was reading your post, I remembered a line I listened to last night as I was doing the Body Scan by Jon Kabat Zinn. It stood out to me. ‘If you are still breathing…..there is more right with you than wrong with you’. That’s it isn’t it. You are living right here in this moment and loving life, and you can handle the way it is right now in this moment. Sending Love and Light back to you our lovely friend. xxx <3 <3

  6. I totally agree . It’s not counting time that matters but making time count. Not a comment said lightly. A thought that came to my late husband and myself after his terminal diagnosis.

  7. Oh Love…So hard because you are so young at least compared to me. Always have said this is a disease that only us seasoned ‘brawds’ should have. You are much sweeter than I but because of you I am trying to find me again. O.K. only one Mum rant…High dose Vitamin C Intravenous or Oral to build the immunity system and shrink’em! Look into low dose Naltrexone and it is suppose to make us more comfortable and shrink’em too!

    Stay in the light and love that darling standing so close to you. I will hug mine tonight and try to be nice. I have a Fi too my grand-daughter and she shines just like you. Be bold my young Gladiator. jmc

  8. Thank you for your inspirational post Elspeth

    Sent from my iPhone


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